Sittin in a tree
by mshoe88
Summary: Picks up where Haley and Andy left off at the end of season 5. A comedic twist on the almost-love relationship between the two plus the humorous additions of the rest of the Dunphy family.
1. Chapter 1

**Tried to remain as close as possible to the characters' personalities plus remembering that it is a comedic show. I dont own Modern Family so all the more power to them. If you like this, please let me know and I'll keep writing more chapters :)**

"Hey, that thing you said before about me deserving better," Andy says over the phone, "you just meant, like, in general, right? You weren't thinking of anyone in particular?"

"Yeah, no, I-I just meant you deserve to be happy," Haley stumbles to say, "and if it's this girl, great. If not, great. Um, sometimes the hardest part is just figuring out what you want." It was difficult even hearing her say it to herself. It would be obvious to anyone watching that she wasn't being completely honest.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." The sound of disappointment in Andy's voice tears Haley apart. She's the cause of the disappointment, she can't deny it. She doesn't want to hurt Andy but she doesn't know what to do. It's ironic that she tells Andy the hardest thing for a person to do is find out what they want and here she is, not knowing what she wants. The conflict inside her building, warring with each other.

"Well, enjoy the wedding," Andy continues, getting ready to hang the phone up. If Haley were going to say something now would be the time; he's getting ready to fly all the way to Utah to try and win back his nightmare of a girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend to be exact.

"Thanks," Haley says meekly. Really? "THANKS"? 'That's the best you can come up with'? she thinks to herself.

The opportunity is fading fast, if she's going to do something it has to be now. The crazed and neurotic wedding planner is on the fritz from the chaotic wedding today. If they pull it off it'll be a miracle. Almost as miraculous as Haley managing to bring herself to be vulnerable with Andy.

"Have a nice trip," she says.

Andy finishes, "Yeah. I'll see you".

Haley looks down at her phone, "CALL ENDED" flashes across the screen for a few seconds and she leans back against the wall, her head resting against the cool wood and she tries to process what just happened.

"Is that it then?" She thinks.

Just then Claire walks by Haley as she stands there against the wall. Claire, drenched and dripping in water, mascara smeared across her face and her hair looking like she just woke up after a hurricane, stops and looks at Haley for a long awkward moment.

Neither of them say anything to each other; Claire, because she is so distraught over what Phil did to her in the bathroom coupled with the fact that she now has to walk around in public like this all while her daughter stands around while the wedding falls apart around them.

Haley says nothing but stares in utter shock and horror that her mom would be seen by anyone looking like she does at this moment. Doesn't she know that by looking bad, she makes Haley look bad too?

They're both brought back to rest of the world from their staring match as Mitch announces that yet again, the wedding is a no go.

But Jay steps in, "You can't do this."

"Yeah, I'm way ahead of you, Dad," Mitch snaps, "and thank you for stopping by."

"What I mean is, you can't get married like this," Jay replies. "You two deserve the kind of wedding you've been talking about nonstop for the last nine months."

Mitch, more confused than anything unsteadily says, "What do you mean?" "

"You bring it up every chance that you get," Jay says matter-of-factly.

"I know what nonstop means!" Mitch yells.

"Trust me, okay?" Jay says with a grin.

* * *

"That was SUCH a beautiful wedding! Don't you think so girls?" Claire sloppily asks Haley and Alex at the reception later that night after she had thrown back a few glasses of wine.

"I mean," she continues as they stand there, "the monarch butterflies were probably a little too gay for me but when in Rome!" Haley and Alex snicker between themselves at the state their mom is in when Haley hears the now familiar *ding* of her phone from a text from Andy.

*wasnt able to make it to Utah. flight got canceled :-/ *

Haley glances quickly at the screen and puts her phone down. "What does this mean?" she thinks. Her heart starts pounding and she starts to get really warm as she's now both surprised and nervous.

"I could text him back right now and pretend to be sympathetic that he couldn't get to Utah, I could say something else to try to make him feel better and let him know I'm there for him, or I could just ignore it right now and text him back later," she thinks as she hastily runs the scenarios through her mind.

Just as Haley decides what to do, Claire roars with laughter from a horrible pun Phil just told her and spills a little bit of her Chardonnay onto Haley's dress.

"MOM!" Haley barks at her as she jumps away from Claire.

She storms off to the restroom to clean herself off. "At least this gives me an excuse for some privacy while I text him," she thinks.

As she walks to the restroom, she passes by a table with Luke and Manny; numerous empty chairs surround them, formerly occupied by people currently on the dance floor. As she storms by them, Luke wipes a bit of mustard off of Manny's cheek with a napkin.

"You do this all the time. This is why we can't go to nice places!" Luke scolds Manny.

"I'm sorry, but I don't control how much condiments the caterer puts on the sandwiches," Manny protests.

"Even Hellen Keller knew where her mouth was!" Luke shouts back.

"Wow, really? Resorting to Hellen Keller jokes now are we?" Manny says, surprised that Luke would say something so insensitive.

"Oh, don't give me that fake 'I'm shocked' look. She's been dead for hundreds of years, she won't care." Luke, now on the defensive, retorts.

Manny can't think of a response to Luke's new politically incorrect comment nor his wildly inaccurate statement. His mouth open, he just sits there as Luke wipes the last bit of mustard from his face for him. Out of the corner of his eye, however, he sees Alex taking another picture on her phone of him and Luke.

"Why does she keep taking pictures of us?" He thinks. "She's been doing that all day."

In the ladies restroom, Haley splashes water onto the spot on her dress where her mom spilled wine on it. "She is so insensitive," Haley thinks as she rubs water onto the spot to at least get the smell of wine off of her, "I looked amazing tonight but now I smell like my 8th grade math teacher, Mrs. Daniels."

Her phone dings again.

*hope the wedding went well. you looked really pretty today. its andy btw*

Of course she knew it was from Andy. There is a thing called caller ID she thinks as she looks down at her phone resting on the counter.

"Whatever, I'm just going to ease into this," Haley tells herself as she picks up her phone to reply to his text.

*aww :( sorry to hear your flight got canceled. The wedding was great and the reception is definitely getting crazy, you should see my mom. But if youd like we could get coffee tomorrow same place we went to earlier- Haley*

"There," she thought, "this gives us both room to breath and not be stressed out about dates or what any of that crap. It's just us talking and going from there. He might not even want to date right now anyways."

As she was getting ready to leave the restroom, her phone dings again from Andy.

*Gee willikers that'd be nice. I will say im relieved i wont be plummeting to my death in a fiery plane right now. But i dont want to put you out like that, i dont want to bother- andy*

Haley replies immediately to the cute, but obviously odd, text.

*Ur not a bother, pick me up at 1? I'll see you then!- Haley*

She puts her phone into her bag. Once again she feels herself getting nervous and warm. Is she leading him on or does she really have feelings for him?

Haley sighs as she thinks, "It's only coffee, it's not even a date." Even as she thinks that though, she knows she's getting her hopes up that it might be something more than coffee

"One day at a time," she tells herself, as she walks back into the reception to ask Gloria if she can borrow a pair of shoes for tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

**This is a little bit of a filler chapter before the good stuff starts most likely in the next couple chapters so I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"I'm going! I'M GOING!" Haley yelled back at her mom as she rushed out the door to her car. She was late for her astronomy class but who cared? "It's community college and we just look at pictures every class," she thought as she started the car.

Driving to class, she let her mind wander back over the events of the past few days after her uncles' wedding and her "not-date" with Andy.

"He's such a dork!" She laughed to herself as she came to a stop light. Just then, she heard the faint 'ding' of her phone and looked down wondering if it was from Andy.

*hey just in town from nursing klass-want to hang out?- dylan*

"Worst timing ever!" Haley muttered to herself as she read it. She didn't have time for Dylan anymore. He was going nowhere fast and besides, if things went well with Andy, then she would start dating him and would be able to move on from her relationship with Dylan.

"Why would he think I would want to hang out with him anymore?" She thought. But as she drove, she thought of all the time she spent with Dylan. He had been her first and at some level, people always want the relationship with their firsts to be forever.

In a spontaneous attempt to distract herself, Haley sighed and turned on the car radio. The irritation building in her since she thought she had completely gotten over Dylan.

-Hello again, hello. Just called to say hello. I couldn't sleep at all tonight. And I know it's late. But I couldn't wait-

"STUPID DYLAN!" Haley yelled at the radio. She was pulling up to school and threw the car into the closest parking spot away from the other cars.

She sat in her seat, seat belt still buckled and pulled out her phone, switched it to silent and sent a text her friend Marissa.

*WORST DAY EVER! late for class, test tomorrow, parents screaming at me, and now dylan's wants to hang out. FML -haley*

She got out of the car and slammed the door. Haley rushed to her class but couldn't have cared less that she was a few minutes late. She creaked open the lecture hall door and took a seat in the back of the dark room well out of sight of the instructor who was droning on monotonously about some image he had up on the projector.

*wait, slow down. what happened? and who cares if he wants to hang out, just brush him off. You guys broke up months ago - marissa*

Haley was losing patience. Hiding her phone under her desk, she texted back furiously.

*no, its stupid but he texted at the worst possible time. I just had a date with this other guy a few days ago who is really nice and sweet but isn't dylan. and then dylan texts and it just sends me back to when we were together and then our song comes on the radio right after he texts! ahhh so frustrated - haley*

Haley didn't have to wait long before she got a reply.

*hmm well are you trying to replace him with this new guy? did the date go well? - marissa*

*it was fine. hes nice and sweet and cares about me more than dylan ever did. its just hard. its just like this guy andy i was with is the safe choice, dylan definitely has the bad boy appeal to him which i guess is one reason why its hard to let that go -haley*

"Miss Dunphy," the instructor said loudly, making Haley jump in her seat. "Am I interrupting your concentration?"

"Yea a little bit." Haley retorted back getting a healthy snicker from the people sitting around her.

The instructor just shook his head and went back to explaining why Pluto was no longer a planet.

* * *

On her way back from class, Haley decided to stop by her uncles' house and say hello. She needed some time to unwind before she went home and they would definitely be the ones to help with that. They had just gotten back from their honeymoon in Mexico a few days ago and she was curious to see them again anyway.

"Buenos dias, Haley!" Uncle Cam was far too excited to see her, she thought, as he opened the door. "I hope you dont mind me practicing my Spanish so I can keep up with it after our honeymoon! Ahhh! So fun!"

"You know that would've been more helpful had you practiced it BEFORE we left for Mexico, right?" Uncle Mitch said as he joined Cam and Haley in the family room. "In fact, you know, it couldve been A LOT more helpful if you couldve talked to the taxi driver the first night we got there."

Uncle Mitch then turned to Haley, "Oh my gosh, it was a nightmare. We tried to communicate to him that we wanted to go from the airport to the hotel, not to a 'hostile area'. Needless to say, cartels are still a big issue in Mexico."

Haley didn't know what to say; she just stood there kinda dumbfounded thinking of what to say in response to that.

"Oh, come on now, she doesn't want to hear about that and besides it was an adventure. You only get one honeymoon," defended Uncle Cam.

"No, it's ok. I came over because I wanted to hear all about it. You guys must've had so much fun!"

"Oh yea, if by fun you mean fighting with the hotel staff to clean the hotel room or better yet to give us another room once we discovered there was a raccoon living in the wall," Uncle Mitch said sarcastically. "I'm glad we had it but I'm so glad to be home!"

"Oh it wasn't that bad," Uncle Cam said as they moved to the couch to sit down. "In fact, I think you secretly liked all the hiccups that happened during it. I think you subconsciously want things to not go as planned for some reason. Either way, it was romantic and we got to spend it together as newlyweds," he finished with a smile.

"Aww that's cute. I'm sure it was a lot of fun. Did you take any pictures?" Haley asked.

"Ugh of COURSE! I nearly maxed out the memory on my phone taking pictures! From hoola night to disco fever night. You name it they had it," Uncle Cam said excitedly as he pulled out his phone to show Haley.

"Hold on, I need to go through it once and edit them to make sure they're ugh...up to date," Uncle Cam said uncomfortably.

"What do you mea...ohh...right, haha" Haley chuckled back.

"So what've you been up to while we've been gone?" Uncle Mitch asked.

"Oh just school and work and stuff. I went out with some friends and I had coffee with Andy and have a huge test tomorrow so I've been busy," Haley said, trying to be both honest and not dwell on anything in particular.

"Oh that's exciting," Uncle Mitch said, "how was coffee?"

"What?" Haley said. Why had he zeroed in on that? "What does that.."

"Your mom told gave us the gossip," Uncle Cam cut in. "That's exciting though! He doesn't seem like your normal type considering the guys you usually date but hey be yourself!"

"Well, it was fine and it was just coffee, but…" Haley didn't want to get into too much with them. She loved her uncles but at the end of the day they were her uncles and not her friends should could completely open up to.

"But you think he's too much like your dad?" Uncle Mitch said, "I know I thought the same thing but you know that's not necessarily a ba…"

"Well no, but…" Haley tried to say, totally perplexed now that Uncle Mitch said that.

"You think he doesn't have enough of the edge that you're used to with guys you date?" Uncle Cam offered.

"Well, yes, bu…" Haley stammered.

"Well then what is it. Why are you keeping us on pins and needles?" Uncle Mitch said.

"I'm trying!" Haley giggled. "Oh my gosh you guys are so gay!"

"Guilty," her uncles said in unison.

"No, he's cute and a sweetheart and everything but yea I dunno. We will see where things go. We might not even hang out again, he hasn't texted me in a couple days," Haley said quickly, afraid she would get cut off again before she could finish.

"Well, just give him a little time," Uncle Cam said. "You know, when I was young and straight I dated thi…"

"We can't have this conversation again!" Uncle Mitch interjected.

"Fine," Uncle Cam said with a little smile across his face, "anyways, when I was young and straight I dated…"

"Oh, Lord," Uncle Mitch sighed.

"This one girl who had the hots for me and I liked her too but obviously not as much as she liked me. Anyways, when we first started dating I would wait a few days in between each time we went out to try and cool things down from her," Uncle Cam finished.

"So are you saying Andy's gay?" Haley asked uncertainly.

"Not at all! haha," Uncle Cam said, "I'm just saying he might be taking his time with you because he likes you."

"Yes, because your story totally makes that comment make sense…" Uncle Mitch said dryly.

After staying a little longer at her uncles' house. Haley got back into her car; it was definitely time for dinner and she could feel her stomach growling when she checked her phone.

1 MISSED CALL

She looked down at her phone and wondered who would be calling her. Haley hardly ever talks on the phone anymore; instead she texts, emails, tweets, facebook, pretty much anything but the actual phone part.

As she listened to the voicemail and figured they must've called when she was inside with her uncles.

*Hey Haley, its Andy. I was just calling because I finished up early today at your grandpa's and I wanted to know if you wanted to get dinner with me. Give me a call back if you like. Bye.*


End file.
